crap on a cracker

fin

2005-10-19T21:23:00.000-04:00

coac will be no more; please visit obhession.

coming soon

2005-10-19T18:22:00.000-04:00

a new obsession ... hes style.

pervs of a feather

2005-10-13T19:19:00.000-04:00

my friend just called me.gillian: hey, what's up? [pause] are you having sex?yes, gillian. i was having sex, but you know, given the choice between a missed call and coitus interruptus, clearly i sprang to answer the phone.gaw my friends are perverts.if anybody pulls the 'birds of a feather' card i will beat their asses.

invest in beano!

2005-10-11T18:02:00.000-04:00

i desperately need to move out of this apartment and get one of my own (or one with bobby which might turn out to be quite an awful idea).having said that, i went to orlando this past weekend (hence the driving past the politically incorrect plane crash) where i had a hotel room which had a kitchenette. my first thought was, yay! i can cook and save money and not have to spend precious money on

hooray!

2005-10-10T19:37:00.000-04:00

i was driving through tampa last night and i passed an adult store with the following sign:adult movies starting at $9 95. yay!yay indeed.and in another instance of questionable marketing, there's this attraction called fantasy of flight off of i-4 between tampa and orlando. and its sign on i-4 consists of a plane crashed nose-first into the ground with 'fantasy of flight' painted on its

hondariffic!

2005-10-05T19:18:00.000-04:00

honda, while always having been one of my favorite car companies, has just confirmed its place atop my list with this car:the honda wow concept car, a dog friendly car. it's bow wow wonderful!if only you could see the tears of laughter running down my face.

this is the way things should be

2005-10-05T19:11:00.000-04:00

if you try to rob a bank, you should be forced to give a robot fellatio.serves the dumbfuck right.[bb]

freakishly big ... ziplocs

2005-10-01T18:16:00.000-04:00

this really disturbs me.although this part amuses me.Not recommended for use in microwave. what kind of gigantic motherfucking microwaves do these people have???there's something pod-peopleish about the way she's blithely carrying around this huge mofo of a ziploc bag that's big enough to eat her. plus there's something wrong in the universe when ziploc bags are big enough for not just

honk honk bitch

2005-09-29T21:35:00.000-04:00

florida is known for its bad drivers but you really don't realize the full extent of how much they suck until you drive down here for an extended period of time. i've driven in florida a lot before, but only for like a week at a time, and mostly in more touristy areas. anyways driving here in pinellas (which, by the way, is the second most densely populated county in america, after new york

im meeeelting

2005-09-24T22:20:00.000-04:00

to-day at the gap i bought a sweater.since i've moved here, the daily high has ranged from 89º to 95º. the low has averaged around, say 78º (it went all the way down to 73º one night ... brrr).i am a moron.

you know shes sayin what we all thinkin

2005-09-24T11:28:00.000-04:00

kudos to the florida alligator for not backing down[alligator]

oprah is a fat diva

2005-09-22T23:00:00.000-04:00

come on like you werent thinking that."I would like to say we're really sorry," Robert Chavez, the chief executive officer of Hermès USA, said contritely. "You did meet up with one very, very rigid staff person."Ms. Winfrey corrected him. "Rigid or rude?" she asked with icy sweetness. He hastily assented. "Rigid and rude, I am sure."wow can you say passive aggressive bitch? and this was on

meninges!

2005-09-13T22:56:00.000-04:00

yaa & co think i have bacterial meningitis.

life's a pisser

2005-09-01T22:11:00.000-04:00

i played cards with a guy staying at our hotel whose house, a block and a half from the water in mississippi, was destroyed by katrina.i've been taking b-vitamins. it makes your pee really bright yellow. i wonder, if i take too many, will my pee turn day-glo?

masoch would have been proud

2005-08-29T01:12:00.000-04:00

i can't remember what class i learned this in but in some class we learned the namesake of masochismoh it was in sex. anyways i dont remember his first name (bernard maybe?) but i duno if this is being masochistic or maybe just kind of anti-schadenfreudistic (how's that for a word eh) but i kind of wanted katrina to hit us.this was before she went all psycho cat 5, when she was still a cat 1

yum yum yum

2005-08-28T18:28:00.000-04:00

yester-day and to-day i saw a lizard doing push-ups.last week we saw deer in our neighborhood at like 1 am.and there are cranes or some other skinny white bird in the pond outside my window.anyone hungry?

exodus

2005-08-20T22:58:00.000-04:00

end:newyork/massachusettsand then i and my people (if you count snuffy as people) escaped from the northeast. actually the plane ones were taken while on the ground at tampa intl when i came down to fl in july.begin:floridathe first is like the only picture i took on the drive from ny to fl. the rest are from thursday nite (i think?) in and around tampa and clearwater from the passenger seat of

love is in the air

2005-08-17T21:21:00.000-04:00

so we have these two german chicks staying at our hotel and they're the cutest things ever. not like hot cute, just cute cute. like i really want to be their friends. them with their accented english and cute mannerisms and all. this morning when i was working they passed through the lobby and one was carrying a boogie board. how cute is that? also their rental car is a minivan from virginia. aww

i'm such a sucker

2005-08-14T16:22:00.000-04:00

i had leftovers from lunch. i wasn't hungry but then they started crying and saying, "we really want you to eat us," so i gave in and ate them. they probably didn't even really want me to eat them. i think they were just saying that because they were drunk, but it made me so sad to see my leftovers crying that i had to eat them, what else could i do??dammit why do i let my emotions hunger

state of boredom

2005-08-11T19:57:00.000-04:00

so far one of the best things about florida is the fact that we have a ceiling fan. but that's not to demean florida; i love ceiling fans.anyways, florida has got to be better than indiana --balthazar: hows indianabalthazar: boring?rgirlx: great! we have the state fair this weekrgirlx: 'so I get to go cow-tipping with the other obese white hicksrgirlx: delete 'other'balthazar:

escape from the northeast

2005-08-04T23:56:00.000-04:00

as of saturday im leaving ny and moving to floridawhee come visit me

music of longing and bleach

2005-07-05T23:44:00.000-04:00

so in college i wrote this paper about the music in wkw's in the mood for love. which necessitated my listening to its soundtrack about 1000 times. so even though it was over a year ago, i still have all the music pretty much memorized.and just now as im sitting i hear the piece yumeiji's theme playing on the tv. i used that piece as a prime example of how wkw expressed the longing and restraint

original my ass

2005-07-03T22:57:00.000-04:00

gwen stefani is soooo original.so original, in fact, that her hit rich girl was a remake of a cover.when rich girl came out, i was like, wtf this isn't a new song. and everyone was like yeah it is, its gwen, it just came out. and after countless hours of searching online, i found the original -- rich girl by minchie one and louchie lou, which was on the reggae all-stars hip hop album which came

i am racialistic

2005-06-29T12:11:00.000-04:00

this morning i found a black flake in my frosted flakes and i refused to eat it.

life imitates fart

2005-06-23T17:50:00.000-04:00

my life is a fudging ellen episode.and besides, dontcha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?

random musing

2005-06-22T18:51:00.000-04:00

do non new yorkers understand the superiority of 917 over 646 or (shudder) 347?

el fin

2005-06-12T17:11:00.000-04:00

the last mofo wknd at hvd. excellente.

woo hoo

2005-06-09T06:36:00.000-04:00

i'm wearing my favoritest boxers! cuz it's my favorite day suckas.

reflections on senior year

2005-06-08T23:24:00.000-04:00

dmio: wow, i can't believe this is overbzar: yeahbzar: weirddmio: oh babydmio: i'm glad we had sex togetherdmio: HAHAHHAHAHAHAdmio: not what i meantdmio: hahahhahahabzar: hahahahahahahahaha[nb: sex = psych 1703]

mmm fanueil hall

2005-06-08T01:48:00.000-04:00

actually i hate this place, it's full of touristy crap that you can find at any mall in america.but at times it does provide some of the funnier juxtapositions.like last saturday: in one corner the singing lesbians; in the other, the ladies of the red hat society.who will win in this epic battle?who knows; i didn't stick around to see. i went to jose mcintyre's instead.

those crazy christians

2005-06-07T13:16:00.000-04:00

last chance dance goodness

2005-06-06T17:59:00.000-04:00

where am i? and why do i have "malibu" stamped on my hand?

one last flippin' final

2005-05-27T11:24:00.000-04:00

is all that remains between me and freedom.last night i checked the syllabus to see how much it was worth. bad idea. it's only 15% of my grade. wtf kind of final is that, it's worth the same as the midterms (of which there were 3) so now i don't particularly care about this final.not that i cared before, mind you. it's just that now i have reason to not care.anyways, there are more pertinent

my buns are smokin'

2005-05-25T01:57:00.000-04:00

today my hamburger bun caught fire in the toaster.bonus quote --"and my buns? they don't feel nothin' like steel."

continuing this obsession

2005-05-22T18:18:00.000-04:00

the swedes take another huge step towards being completely amazing.it's like heaven in a cup.

asians are so weird

2005-05-20T15:12:00.000-04:00

uff da

2005-05-20T03:35:00.000-04:00

btw if anyone knows of any bar in the 617 area that serves aquavit, please let me know. i need to get trashed, norwegian-style.also a people that make "meat salad" a part of their lives must be amazing. there's no other way around it.dammit i want scandinavian food now. to add to my demand request, if anyone knows of a good scandinavian restaurant in 617 let me know.

damn those scandinavians are hot

2005-05-19T23:42:00.000-04:00

they make some of the best things on earth.to witness:volvo. nokia. linie. ikea. absolut. good world (not really a product but a damn good place anyways).(fyi h&m does not make the cut. gaw i hate that store.)but the hottest of all things scandinavian?two words:lena. olin.i melt.

"you will get chlamydia. and die."

2005-05-09T11:51:00.000-04:00

you know all the media about the gay penguins?well now there's a chlamydia outbreak in the penguin exhibit in the sf zoo. [republica]i guess the gay penguin scene is just like the human one.i am a horrible, horrible person. =)

superlative city

2005-05-07T16:07:00.000-04:00

this will make for a great tourism slogan:romania, the land of the beautiful (the ugly get ticketed). [jalopnik]that's my kinda place.also, who knew that i, as a child, was making great leaps in technology by pulling the heads off my sister's (single) barbie doll? this is the best usb drive i've ever seen. ahh progress. [gizmodo]and while i'm throwing superlatives out all over the place, we had

someone is messing with me

2005-05-03T00:25:00.000-04:00

evidence: this unaltered aim adfirst the homocon ad and now this?! what is the world coming to?!nb: i just clicked it and it's some aol thing for mother's day. not nearly as funny any more, is it.

ambivalence

2005-05-02T01:54:00.000-04:00

it's kind of sad when the fried okra was the most memorable thing about the night.not that it wasn't fun, but holy hell, fried okra is some good eatin'. too bad i didn't take a picture of it. but it will live in the memory of my tastebuds forever.previously:presencia latina, of which i only got one good picture:cracker barrel!!!

i rock

2005-04-30T03:10:00.000-04:00

how do i love me, let me count the waysi am eating frozen chinese leftoversi just compared my friend's love life to the movie ALIENi freaked with a freakin prefrosh

children are our future

2005-04-29T12:23:00.000-04:00

yesterday we went to cracker barrel for dinner. i enjoyed the service.first they sat the 5 of us at a table for 4. then one waitress is like, um they're gonna be wicked crowded there, so the server was like ok i'll move you to this other table. which was exactly the same size. we asked if we could sit at an actual bigger table but the server, in her broken english, was like, no, there aren't

the happy man

2005-04-28T00:39:00.000-04:00

today i went to zoe's in somerville for dinner. that's like the most random place for a chinese restaurant. i think it was across from a happy garden or some shit like that, some other dinky chinese place. anyways zoe's was in like a converted house and it was really small (like 9 tables small) and we were the only people in there at first, but they turned the music on for us so that made me

procrasturbating

2005-04-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

i've already eaten two lunches to avoid writing this paper. so logically the next step was to take one of them stupid quizzes online that'll tell you where to live. and on my results page goooooogle (not just google; goooooogle) was nice enough to give me this ad:it's a good thing i wasn't still at lunch because i would have spewed cranberry juice all over my computer (ask my friends; it's

all's i have to say is

2005-04-25T01:37:00.000-04:00

that the next time someone leads you onto the railroad tracks by mit and behind a dumpster, it's probably not a shortcut to the car...that was interesting.

suspects last seen wearing tuxes

2005-04-23T14:39:00.000-04:00

hooray for airport security. two seaworld penguins traveling through denver intl were sent through the metal detector. excellent. [bb]

where there is an open bar

2005-04-17T01:39:00.000-04:00

there we are.

context is overrated

2005-04-15T12:04:00.000-04:00

« monks fly in satellite dish. i thought only nuns could fly. [bb]« woman beats off burglar with gnome. kinky. [bb]« sbux isn't the only thing that starts with S and ends with X ...« now it makes sense; those danishes on her ears are ergonomically designed for grasping.blahblahblah

possibly the only good thing about boston

2005-04-14T02:01:00.000-04:00

i love how they make up their own random-ass holidays, just so people can go drinking and skip work and not have to make excuses.seriously, wtf is patriot day? and don't get me started on evacuation day.damn harvard for not giving us those days off.

witty title

2005-04-10T20:23:00.000-04:00

it's been over a week and i haven't finished posting the rest of the spring break pictures so to hell with clever captioning.waiting in linenorway/akershuschinaling the giantilluminationsmgmsky60/eye spy/back booth

tickling the rat

2005-04-06T12:21:00.000-04:00

scientists have found that when you tickle the rat, as well as when you spank the monkey, you get an unexpected response. no you pervs, i ain't talkin about anything nasty, i be talking about animal laughter. that's so excellent. i would totally work in a lab if i could tickle rats. [bb]

things that suck

2005-04-06T12:03:00.000-04:00

«sean pennthesuperficial has an excellent treatise (is that the right usage of that word? i probably should have just said thingie) on why sean penn sucks. i <3 thesuperficial.«harvardthere's some study out that finally proves what every ivory tower student has known since enrolling: harvard is a cold, joyless place. but don't get me wrong -- we're the most selective cold, joyless place around

magic blingdom

2005-04-04T22:29:00.000-04:00

waiting on line is boring ... but we make it fun!!this is a random little brit kid, he was so freaking cute i wanted to take him home.these are from the rehabbed iasw, hooray for funky animals!we are so grown upyeah i dont know these people...yayy california grill.the castle on speed

wheee otown

2005-03-31T00:33:00.000-05:00

on tuesday i felt like britney ... i went to a public bathroom without any shoes on. but that bathroom was in a water park so i think it was ok.

tampa

2005-03-31T00:25:00.000-05:00

sucker

2005-03-31T00:24:00.000-05:00

guess who is staying in boston to work on her thesis ... not me!! hahaha.

they make martha stewart look bad

2005-03-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

gothamist has some excellent recipes for easter candy. i recommend you check them out, especially if you're into crushing bunnies and eggs with a mallet.mmmm easter candy

hey kids ... let's play doctor

2005-03-25T12:36:00.000-05:00

this must be jacko's idea of a good hospital logo. [bb]

p diddy is dumber than octopussies

2005-03-25T12:01:00.000-05:00

is that his name nowadays, or did he come up with a new, stupider name?anyways, as part of his attempt to take over the world, he's launched one of the stupidiest celebrity brands ever -- sean john wheels.he is so amazingly lame.much lamer than these octopi. they're so much cooler than peediddy, cuz they're smart enough to pretend to be coconuts or coral. [bb]so not only do octopi run, so do

e.room

2005-03-20T01:44:00.000-05:00

yayyyy corona

ahh america, land of opportunity

2005-03-19T01:14:00.000-05:00

forget that whole thing i said about being able to become anything as a conservative. because clearly, i wasn't thinking straight. i forgot that this is america, land of the liberal asswipes. the early word from gawker is that zipp's been booted. i'm not sure if it's true or not, but i sure wouldn't be surprised if it were. congratulations, libs. your true colors come shining through.

sammy sosa has a tiny head

2005-03-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

baseball player sammy sosa and his lawyer swear in at the governmant reform committee hearing on capitol hill to examine the tinyness of sosa's head in washington thursday, march 17, 2005. at left, former oakland athletic and texas ranger baseball player jose canseco, clearly in pain, after being forced to revisit painful memories of just how small sosa's head really is.

old lady

2005-03-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

happy 22nd biznitch. hope ya'll had a good time.

one's

2005-03-17T18:22:00.000-05:00

what kind of name is uno's anyways, is it someone's name or something?anyways here are more pics from tues night. fathead terry is in town as you can see.

uno dos tres!

2005-03-16T22:32:00.000-05:00

dude uno's got new tableclothes. now how are we going to amuse ourselves if we can't read about the price of baby carriages in the 1920s? man this is depressing. i weep for the youth of tomorrow.on the other hand, they do make a damn tasty giant ... cookie ... thing.

wanna fiona my apple?

2005-03-09T02:53:00.000-05:00

she's so frickin amazing.This is not about love'Cause I am not in love In fact I can't stop falling outand you know you've made it big when you have creepy fan art on the web.and on a wonderfully unrelated note, there are these twins in my engineering class. apparently they take many of their classes together, but they never sit together. today i sat next to one, and the other was sitting in

sticks, balls and goggles

2005-03-08T17:59:00.002-05:00

i'm so happy, this news makes me believe that i, as a conservative, can go far in america today.Playgirl editor-in-chief Michele Zipp explores “down and dirty” politics and examines sexuality on both sides of the aisle. In the process she comes to a realization about herself and reveals for the first time she’s now a Republican.“Siding with the GOP when you live in the bluest state around is

celebrititty news

2005-03-04T13:20:00.000-05:00

ellen degeneres is comic genius. too bad there won't be a monkey named after her. that's really a shame ... we could have had the ellen's titi monkey enshrined in the halls of the american museum of natural history. *snicker* ... titty ... [trent]in other celebrity news... you may not have noticed, but britney spears has been a recurring guest star on the simpsons! she guested with her

gwen suckani and her asian playthings

2005-02-20T12:11:00.000-05:00

wow, i want to listen to her crappy-ass music and defer to her because she is a westerner and i am nothing but an oriental. [superficial]word of advice, sweetcheeks: drop the pout and the asian fetish. but even then, your annoying pop will still make me sick, so maybe it is hopeless. just do humanity a favor and go die.oh great, now i have her rip-off rich bitch song stuck in my head. i want to

pee pee head

2005-02-18T13:01:00.000-05:00

people are either really effing stupid, or really effing perverted. there's this single person men's room in the library, and it's the closest one to me (and the least smelly), i would prefer to pee there. and, as it's a single person room, it has a locking door. and on two separate occasions, i have walked in on someone peeing there. um, ew? and hello, to get in here you have to be an ivory

ahh political correctness

2005-02-17T00:36:00.000-05:00

nothing smothers the exchange of ideas quite like you do.this whole brouhaha here at the ivory tower over summers' remarks is really quite idiotic. i neither like nor dislike him, as i am too apathetic about this whole 'college' thing. but attacking these words only shows the wonderful intolerance that's present in our society, and it's not on his part. it's on the part of the people who refuse

abercruddy

2005-02-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

wow, the new abercrombie models are really ugly.[i took the pictures down because im fucking sick of all these strangers coming to my blog by googling abercrombie models. ew, fucking perverts, if you want softcore porn go buy some.]i'm slightly offended, for some reason. probably just because i'm mean. but seriously, if abercrombie has ugly models, then what is the world coming to??on a

snarker bowl weekend

2005-02-07T17:50:00.000-05:00

superbowl halftime sucked. "sir" mccartney has a lesbian haircut and a baby face. so he looks like a wrinkly, immature lesbian. not interesting. and he totally made an allusion to smoking marijuana!! the nerve!! this is supposed to be a family oriented show!! he's so boring that the fcc gets complaints about him. bwahahahaha. A year after the FCC logged more than 500,000 complaints over

another reason to hate him

2005-02-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

now, not only is tobey maguire annoying, insipid, ugly, scrawny, mundane, boring and a really bad actor, he's fat too!! so fat, in fact, that his aides wouldn't even let him out in public to introduce some clip from some movie at some awards show. anyways, here is an exclusive shot of him with an adoring fan ... right before he ate her. edit lowculture posted this picture of tobey from

you're pretty. pretty stupid!

2005-02-04T15:44:00.000-05:00

pretty things « i still associate slingshots with david & goliath. i guess this one would be david. « photography + guns = fun! [via bb] « i should probably get me one of these so i actually get out of bed. ha! [via gmodo] « hot chicks without clothes [via audrey] « mmmm, jg. stupid things « here's a remote-locator. what the hell do you do when you lose the whistle? [via bb] « no link but i have

a plea for help

2005-02-04T01:54:00.000-05:00

what movie was it where some girl was singing desperado? i can't remember and it's driving me crazy. she was on stage, i think it might have been some sort of talent show or something. rrrrg! Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out ridin' fences for so long now. Oh, you're a hard one, But I know that you've got your reasons. These things that are pleasin' you, Can hurt you

the fly!!

2005-02-04T01:03:00.000-05:00

i forgot about the fly!! oh my gosh how could i forget about the fly!! in this post. ew i'm getting all prickly just thinking about it. so another disgusting nasty horrible thing that happened that horrid day (tuesday i believe) was this. i was sitting in the dark at my computer (because i'd just taken a nap and didn't feel like turning the lights on ... or because i'm creepy, your call),

rings ... cocktail & otherwise

2005-02-03T16:38:00.000-05:00

this past weekend we made our annual trek to flushing to get new cell phones. yay! so now i have a new baby: mmm mmm good. anyways i transferred much of my phonebook but not all of it, so if you call me and i have no idea who you are, then you're clearly not important enough for me to put you in my new phone, and stop calling me. kidding. kind of. also i got an email from ebay begging me

i hate boston

2005-02-02T01:08:00.000-05:00

wow yesterday sucked. first of all, «i had to come back to boston. boston just plain sucks. then on the greyhound up, «i was stuck in the bathroom seat because i was the last person on the bus. i think «the fumes from the potty gave me a big ol' stinkin headache which plagued me until late at night. and once i got back to my dorm, «i got stuck in an elevator. «for an hour and a half. and to

apple iPoo

2005-01-24T13:10:00.000-05:00

so earlier this year i was thinking of getting an ipod. and when i mentioned it to my friend, she exclaimed, "oh, i want one too! i want to be cute and have little white earbuds in my ears!" all i could say was, "uhn..." and that's when i realized that i hate apple. and in particular, i hate the ipod. and even more, i hate the ipod shuffle. apple hasn't built its customer base on what's

a haiku

2005-01-22T16:35:00.000-05:00

finals are over the ground is covered in white it's time to get crunked

my name is lynndie england

2005-01-21T02:04:00.000-05:00

and i am white trash. here are some people who aspire to be me. here's some with a wuffly snuffly pug. not legal yet? use a pen. doin' the lynndie with some drunk woman. the same woman, in 30 years. they're even doin' the lynndie in disneyland! as you can see, they have the cigarette and the thumbs down pat, but they'll never quite humiliate the good ol' US of A like i did.

what i learn from "studying"

2005-01-20T01:45:00.000-05:00

so it's finals period here at the ivory tower, and recently someone emailed our dorm open list about this software that lets you speed up videos while you watch them. anyways, this software came in superhandy because being me, i skip about 95% of my lectures. so i was reviewing a lecture at double speed, and i realized that you can also slow down the video to 0.3x the normal speed. so i did.

north american international auto snark

2005-01-17T11:50:00.000-05:00

so detroit recently hosted the north american international auto show. north american and international? make up your minds, people. anyways, here's a sampling of the ugliness that you, too, may soon be able drive home. the aston martin chrysler firepower concept the smooshed, stretched, and otherwise hideous mini infiniti kuraza (say what?) concept the bloated pt cruiser chevy hhr

fun ways to get to my blog

2005-01-16T01:28:00.000-05:00

not only can you type the url in your address bar, you can also search for boobs and pusey. or try fuck america eminem turban. people are really friggin weird. who does that?? my guess is, the same kind of people who buy ashlee simpson cds: complete morons.

actually i'm just lazy

2005-01-14T15:03:00.000-05:00

finals have been impeding the updateability of my blog. yeah. that's why i've had no time to post anything. but amazingly i still have time to download and watch desperate housewives and alias. i was good and didn't watch this week's lost yet. but its killing meee. who gives a crap about molecular bio when you can be watching the antics of incestuous obnoxious teens and murderous kate

i didn't know the palestinians care about 70s pop

2005-01-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

there's a headline on some newspaper: Hamas hopes Abbas will win small i am so unconnected to the world. and i'm also a dork.

liberals must really hate america

2005-01-06T01:59:00.000-05:00

they're apparently leading an attempt to boycott and harm american companies. Inauguration Day, Thursday, January 20th, 2005 is "Not One Damn Dime Day" in America. On "Not One Damn Dime Day" those who oppose what is happening in our name in Iraq can speak up with a 24-hour national boycott of all forms of consumer spending. During "Not One Damn Dime Day" please don't spend money. Not one damn

boycott frito-lay

2004-12-19T01:06:00.000-05:00

they engage in deception and false advertising! they are evil and actively mislead the public!! their so-called "four cheese" doritos contain no fewer than six cheeses!! cheddar, monterey jack, parmesan, american, swiss and colby!! i don't even know what colby cheese is!! this is an outrage!! declare your refusal to accept this affront to chip eaters everywhere by boycotting frito-lay!!

would you love jesus more

2004-12-14T02:17:00.000-05:00

if he were a marshmallow? what if he ate miniature oranges made out of modeling clay? i am giddy over the possibilities. then again, this is coming from a guy who forgot what state he was in (in my defense, i saw 2 NY plates in a row, leading me to believe that i was actually in NY...), so take everything with a grain of salt. and a lime. in a shot glass.

another pussy story

2004-12-11T02:57:00.000-05:00

this is an except from an email i wrote while at work (at the library). background info is that there's a Pusey (pew-see) library on campus, and while we enjoy referring to it as the Pussy Library, other people are often perplexed by its name. haha this kid just came up to me and he was like, how do you get to poosay? obviously was looking for pusey but he just pronoucned it so funny. i think

those darn germans

2004-12-10T23:23:00.000-05:00

Kitten Survives 275-Mile Ride Next to Car Engine BERLIN (Reuters) - A German couple was shocked after a 275-mile car journey to discover a surprise stowaway cowering next to the engine of their car -- a 6-week-old kitten. The meows of the tiny animal only became audible after Elisabeth and Dieter Gesehl had parked their car. "First of all we called the police as we feared for a moment that we

i may just be a redneck whitey

2004-11-17T21:29:00.000-05:00

as my friend said because of my predisposition to wear abercrombie clothes, but this lawsuit pisses me off. i mean, yeah, diversity is nice and all, but so is freedom. last time i checked, america was a free, capitalist nation, not some sort of socialist hellhole. abercrombie is a private company. the government has no business at all mucking with their hiring or advertising practices. if people

i like to make lists

2004-11-15T03:28:00.000-05:00

because if i don't, i always forget things. but truth be told, i still forget 98% of the things on my lists. but! here is a list. of books i like, and have read recently, and which you should read: « allison lynn - now you see it « christopher moore - lamb: the gospel according to biff, christ's childhood pal « christopher moore - fluke: or, i know why the winged whale sings « louise murphy -

yeah, i'm really not

2004-11-12T01:20:00.000-05:00

sorry, that is. i'm not sorry that bush got the first majority of the popular vote since 1988 or that he got the largest number of votes ever. i don't need to apologize for (or defend, for that matter) the fact that i voted for the candidate who i believed was the better choice. i believe in america and the fact that it's a sovereign nation, and i think that if we have to defend that, then so be

weekly whirlwind tour

2004-11-07T13:11:00.000-05:00

« democrats may be (gasp!) right: bush voters may just be a bunch of boobs. [instapundit] « speaking of boobs, tara reid's scare me. looks like she's trying to take some attention away from her raccoon eyes ... and transfer it to her mutant (but perky) boobs. « one of the most quality sentences i've ever read: "her hair was completely flat on one side and splayed out into an improbable sunburst

normally i love new york

2004-11-04T11:35:00.000-05:00

but how fucking patronizing can you get? clearly the heartland of america is different from the northeast (as is the south, and the southwest, and almost ever other area), but to act as if you're the motherfucking messiah and it's your mission to show the poor bigots in the heartland what real diversity is, then fuck you. If the heartland feels so alienated from us, then it behooves us to wrap

what's up now

2004-11-04T02:20:00.000-05:00

for the record, i could never be ashamed to be an american. recently i've felt this inexplicable surge of patriotism. i never considered myself terribly patriotic, but i gotta admit it. america's the best. besides, red white & blue look friggin awesome together. i'm still waiting for idiots like alec baldwin, robert redford and barbra streisand to flee america.