gwen suckani and her asian playthings »

wow, i want to listen to her crappy-ass music and defer to her because she is a westerner and i am nothing but an oriental. [superficial]

word of advice, sweetcheeks: drop the pout and the asian fetish. but even then, your annoying pop will still make me sick, so maybe it is hopeless. just do humanity a favor and go die.

oh great, now i have her rip-off rich bitch song stuck in my head. i want to die.

pee pee head »

people are either really effing stupid, or really effing perverted. there's this single person men's room in the library, and it's the closest one to me (and the least smelly), i would prefer to pee there. and, as it's a single person room, it has a locking door. and on two separate occasions, i have walked in on someone peeing there. um, ew? and hello, to get in here you have to be an ivory tower affiliate, so i thought you have to have some kind of brain. but apparently not, because there are people here who don't know how to lock a door!!!

blech. so now when i have to go tinkle, i go all the way to the far restroom so i don't walk in on gross people pissing.

also in library-related news, i'm determined to be as unhelpful as possible to people who are rude. i hate 'em.

and in loser-related news, wtf is up with this? are people that obsessed with their loser game that they can't even be bothered to leave it for food? [bb]

ahh political correctness »

nothing smothers the exchange of ideas quite like you do.

this whole brouhaha here at the ivory tower over summers' remarks is really quite idiotic. i neither like nor dislike him, as i am too apathetic about this whole 'college' thing. but attacking these words only shows the wonderful intolerance that's present in our society, and it's not on his part. it's on the part of the people who refuse to actually listen to what he might say, preferring instead to jump on him because he suggested that women and men are different.

are they not? do women have penises and men vaginas? [ew, bad mental image] it's kinda really pathetic how, once the topic of innate differences is broached, the raging left explodes. do we need to retool the way we teach anatomy, since it might cause impressionable kids to think that women are actually not the same as men? ridickerous.

also all this media coverage is really pissing me off. the outside world just sees this as a way to say "hey, the ivory tower isn't all that great, let's portray their president as a sexist pig!" the same thing happened with corker and the whole "fun czar" thing.

harvard : don't hate us because we're beautiful; hate us because we're better than you.

people really need to get over their inferiority complexes. it's just a school, for goodness sake.



moving about a mile northeast of harvard, an ordinary house has been transformed into a work of art. sheer brilliance. and check out the kitty cat, it's cute as hell.

« help me! i have this song on my computer and i have no idea what it is. i do have the cd that i ripped it from at home (it's a mix cd) but i'm not at home and will not be home for like, 4 months. anyways, does anyone recognize this song? email me if you do.

abercruddy »

wow, the new abercrombie models are really ugly.

[i took the pictures down because im fucking sick of all these strangers coming to my blog by googling abercrombie models. ew, fucking perverts, if you want softcore porn go buy some.]

i'm slightly offended, for some reason. probably just because i'm mean. but seriously, if abercrombie has ugly models, then what is the world coming to??

on a somewhat related note, manhattan is a penis!

Squint your eyes and New York is shaped like a giant crotch, from the profile. Don’t see it? Manhattan, in all its glory is the long shaft, with downtown as its bulbous head. Brooklyn is, appropriately, the scrotum of New York, and the Bronx its public [sic] hair. As someone noted when I pointed this out, it’s too bad Lorena Bobbit had her way with the City first.

Seen in this light, of course, it gives a whole new meaning to the Staten Island Ferry. [bft]

hahaha. my sister used to live in the head. i appreciate this. also, what does that make the gates? genital warts?

oh sick. never ever image-google "genital warts." unless you enjoy gouging your eyes out.

speaking of genitals and gouging your eyes out, never watch the video 'viva la vulva.' and if you do, don't fall asleep only to wake up to some really ... unpleasant sights.

i am grossed out just thinking about it, a day and a half later.

puke.

snarker bowl weekend »

superbowl halftime sucked. "sir" mccartney has a lesbian haircut and a baby face. so he looks like a wrinkly, immature lesbian. not interesting. and he totally made an allusion to smoking marijuana!! the nerve!! this is supposed to be a family oriented show!!

he's so boring that the fcc gets complaints about him. bwahahahaha.

A year after the FCC logged more than 500,000 complaints over Jackson's exposed breast at the Super Bowl halftime show, the governmental watchdog had received exactly two complaints by Monday afternoon over McCartney's fully clothed set. In both cases, viewers complained of being "bored" by McCartney's 12-minute, four-song showcase of Beatles and Wings classics, including "Hey, Jude," FCC spokeswoman Rosemary Kimball said Monday. [y!]

this is really effing ridiculous. chicago commissioned a sculpture for some park with public money, and chicagoans aren't even allowed to take a picture of it because the greedy asshole artist has a copyright on it. wtf mate?

yesterday i was outside with my friends when this guy across the street totally slipped and fell on his ass. it took him like a minute to get up and after that, he was limping down the street. i laughed. and then almost fell on my own ass.

and then in another blow to my ego, i went to see my advisor today, and he was saying how he would write a recommendation if i needed one, and he said something to the effect of, "it might be a bit awkward because i can't say that you're the top student at harvard or anything. and i could say that you were in my class, but if they ask if you were the top student... i could at least say that you learned something."

gee thanks.

another reason to hate him »

now, not only is tobey maguire annoying, insipid, ugly, scrawny, mundane, boring and a really bad actor, he's fat too!! so fat, in fact, that his aides wouldn't even let him out in public to introduce some clip from some movie at some awards show. anyways, here is an exclusive shot of him with an adoring fan ... right before he ate her.




edit
lowculture posted this picture of tobey from sundance ... wow he looks like hell. and the girl is the kerry daughter who wore that see through slut dress to that one awards show.

you're pretty. pretty stupid! »

pretty things
« i still associate slingshots with david & goliath. i guess this one would be david.
« photography + guns = fun! [via bb]
« i should probably get me one of these so i actually get out of bed. ha! [via gmodo]
« hot chicks without clothes [via audrey]
« mmmm, jg.

stupid things
« here's a remote-locator. what the hell do you do when you lose the whistle? [via bb]
« no link but i have to get this off my chest (not that i have boobies or anything). i hate (read: despise) people who write in library books. i mean seriously, what the hell. 'oops, i forgot this isn't my book'? how incredibly stupid and selfish do you have to be? people who write in library books should be billed the cost of the book. rrg.
« gargoyles for sale! but not the cool kind like goliath and demona. but then again, it does come alive and it is bullet-resistant [via bb]

funny quote

"i didn't know you had a big book!"

hey, i work in the library. humor me.

a plea for help »

what movie was it where some girl was singing desperado? i can't remember and it's driving me crazy. she was on stage, i think it might have been some sort of talent show or something. rrrrg!

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now.
Oh, you're a hard one,
But I know that you've got your reasons.
These things that are pleasin' you,
Can hurt you somehow.

the fly!! »

i forgot about the fly!! oh my gosh how could i forget about the fly!! in this post. ew i'm getting all prickly just thinking about it.

so another disgusting nasty horrible thing that happened that horrid day (tuesday i believe) was this. i was sitting in the dark at my computer (because i'd just taken a nap and didn't feel like turning the lights on ... or because i'm creepy, your call), and i felt something on my leg. i look down and by the light of the computer, i see the mother big-ass fly of all big-ass flies. i totally flipped out and smacked at it, then scrambled to get up and turned the lights on. then i started freaking out and being all paranoid that there were like lots of baby flies, and then i looked at where i'd been sitting. and i saw the twisted carcass of the evil monster lying there.

i am alsome! i smacked and killed that bitchfly on my first attempt!

and then after i got over my alsomeness, i realized that i'd touched that diseased, nasty-ass big-ass fly and went to wash my hands. then i threw away the spawn of satan by picking it up with toilet paper.

clean toilet paper.

at least i think it was clean.

and then after that i spent the next hour being all paranoid that there were lots and lots o bugs crawling all over me. ugh im grossed out just thinking about it.

rings ... cocktail & otherwise »

this past weekend we made our annual trek to flushing to get new cell phones. yay! so now i have a new baby:



mmm mmm good. anyways i transferred much of my phonebook but not all of it, so if you call me and i have no idea who you are, then you're clearly not important enough for me to put you in my new phone, and stop calling me. kidding. kind of.

also i got an email from ebay begging me to shop there and offering me $5 off. included in that email was this image:



these are the questions that flew through my mind:
what the hell is a cocktail ring? am i the only one who misread the caption? who would wear such a hideous ring?

please reassure me that i'm not the only pervert out there. and in my defense, i've never heard of a cocktail ring. i have, however, heard of the other thing that i thought it was. but i haven't worn one.

in the words of bert & ernie, that's kind of kinky.

i hate boston »

wow yesterday sucked. first of all,
«i had to come back to boston. boston just plain sucks. then on the greyhound up,
«i was stuck in the bathroom seat because i was the last person on the bus. i think
«the fumes from the potty gave me a big ol' stinkin headache which plagued me until late at night. and once i got back to my dorm,
«i got stuck in an elevator.
«for an hour and a half. and to top it all off,
«classes started today. i want to take a nap.

blugh.

and since tax time is coming...

bunnie: wow taxes suck
bunnie: i hear H and R block do them for free if you make under a certain income
bunnie: i wonder how true that is
bunnie: wouldn't everyone be running to them?
bunnie: homeless....?
balthazar: do homeless people file taxes?
bunnie: sometimes they own property
bunnie: wait that makes no sense
balthazar: hahahahahahaha

so the pressing question is, do homeless people file taxes?

EDIT (030205 944p): ok so honestly the hour and a half in the elevator wasn't so bad, thanks to my partner in crime. in fact it was kind of fun. especially when the building's super would bang on the elevator doors and ask us if we needed anything. um, yeah, to get out of there? anyways, what would he have done, pushed a soda through the airvent? also the rescuers thought i was a girl. well, not really, but they referred to us as girls. presumably because i was busy talking on the phone so my cohort was doing the talking and she's a girl. but maybe they know something that i don't. kinky.